Supporting someone through a panic attack: A practical guide

If you’ve ever witnessed someone experiencing a panic attack, it can be a pretty scary moment (for both parties), leaving you unsure of how to help. For those of us who have battled panic attacks personally, I know how isolating and terrifying they can feel, even when you’re not alone. The good news is, there are practical steps you can take to help a friend, family member, or colleague navigate through one.

Here’s a guide I’ve put together,  for supporting someone during a panic attack, written through my eyes with both understanding, personal experience and practical research in mind. It is not meant to replace professional advice or care. I have experienced significant panic attacks, and supported friends who’ve had their own – so I have a perspective from both sides of the coin.

Learn the signs

Recognising a panic attack is the first step in being able to help. These symptoms may be things your friend or family member can explain to you, or not. While symptoms can vary from person to person, some common signs can include:

• Racing heartbeat or chest pain
• Shortness of breath or hyperventilation
• Dizziness or feeling faint
• Sweating or chills
• A sense of detachment or unreality
• Fear of losing control, dying, or impending doom
• Nausea

It’s important to remember from the start that while panic attacks feel life-threatening they’re generally not physically dangerous. Reassuring your friend of this from the get-go is a great place to start. It is also worth mentioning that these attacks typically peak within 10 minutes – this is another comforting piece of information you can communicate calmly.

Stay calm and grounded

Your own energy and communication style matters so much in these moments. If you panic or overreact, it could unintentionally escalate their anxiety and experience. Take a deep breath yourself, stay calm, and focus on being a safe, calm and supportive presence.

Ask what they need

Every person’s experience with panic attacks is different. Some people may know what helps them calm down, while others might not. Start by asking… personally for me, thinking back to a specific tough day, having friends immediately ask what I needed and following that up with “no worries mate we’ve got you” meant the world to me at the time:

• “Do you want me to sit with you?”
• “Would it help if I held your hand or stayed nearby?”
• “What do you need right now?”

Some people really don’t want to be touched in these moments. (Remember to consider boundaries and consent). Let them take the lead, this is their experience, and your role is to support, not fix.

Guide their breathing

Rapid, shallow breathing is common during a panic attack and can make symptoms much worse. Try to encourage slower, deeper breaths. You can guide them through a simple breathing exercise like this:

1. Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds.
2. Hold the breath for 4 seconds.
3. Exhale slowly through the mouth for 4 seconds.
4. Hold the exhale for 4 seconds. This is known as box breathing, and it can help bring the nervous system back into balance.

If they’re struggling with structured breathing, try breathing alongside them, ask them if they can match/copy your breathing – it can feel really comforting.

Use grounding techniques

Grounding exercises can help shift focus away from the panic. One simple technique is the “5-4-3-2-1” method:

• Name 5 things you can see around you.
• Name 4 things you can touch.
• Name 3 things you can hear.
• Name 2 things you can smell.
• Name 1 thing you can taste.

This sensory-based approach helps anchor the present moment and distracts from overwhelming thoughts. This is personally my go-to, paired with a walk, at even the first signs of panic’d thinking and feelings – especially when I’m alone.

Take a walk

One of the most helpful things you can do is remind them that they’re safe and that this will pass….

• “You’re going to be okay. This will pass soon.”
• “I’m here with you. You’re not alone.”
• “It’s okay to feel like this. I’ll stay as long as you need.”

Avoid dismissive statements like “Just calm down” or “It’s all in your head”… these comments could be harmful.

Stay until they feel better

Even after the peak of the panic attack has passed, your friend may feel shaken and exhausted. Stay with them until they feel ready to be on their own, and encourage them to rest and drink some water.

Encourage support

If the person experiencing panic attacks hasn’t sought professional help, consider gently suggesting they do, open a conversation about it. A mental health professional can offer tools and strategies to manage anxiety more effectively. It’s important not to push this suggestion in the heat of the moment, bring it up when they’re feeling calm on another day.

Remember: you’re not the fixer

While your support and just being there is super important, it’s also important to remember that you’re not responsible for “fixing” anything. Your role is only to provide reassurance, grounding, and safety. You don’t need to have all the answers. I should also add here that these techniques and tools won’t always work for everyone, that’s totally normal and regardless, you’re doing the best thing you can do by just being there.

When to seek emergency help

While panic attacks themselves aren’t dangerous, some symptoms (like chest pain) can mimic those of serious medical conditions. There are some red flags to look out for especially if it’s the first instance of a panic attack in someone over 50, or, there are chest pains in someone with a heart condition… If you’re unsure whether it’s a panic attack or something more serious, always err on the side of caution and seek professional medical assistance immediately.

Final thoughts…

Being there for someone during a panic attack is one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to support their mental health. It’s not about saying the perfect thing or solving the problem, it’s about showing up, staying calm, and helping them navigate what for them will be a pretty dark storm!

If you’ve supported someone through a panic attack or if someone has helped you, I’d love to hear your experiences in the comments below. Let’s keep breaking the stigma and having these important conversations.

 

Tim Kavermann is the founder and host of The Brave and The Wild. Based in Auckland, Tim is a web-designer, photographer and storyteller with over a decade of experience, driven by a personal journey through mental health and a belief in the power of honest, human connection.

Connect with Tim: Instagram / Design / Photography